Guess what!! Things are not happening in the way I expected.....
The night I had to go to Chennai at 10:15 bus, things was turned down in such a way that I was in fear that the thing that I am gonna hear jus now..... may take away a smile on my face..
If then what is it and why should I travel? Chennai needs Shruthi more than Bangalore for the next coming days made me feel I should not cancel the journey......Hm...
Much disturbance of thoughts....of me and my journey...like ...to go or not, I had something else also in mind, Yes one of my good friends gonna be engaged this weekend and yes I am not going for his betrothal.....may be I should say the ones he expected the most is not going on his special occasion. I knew I had my own reasons of not possible to attend it..... but the N number of excuses is not a way of denying the expression of the fact. I dropped in an email to the chain of 4 to wish him, to let him know that you are thought of.....and we are with you on your special occasion with all our heart...
Yes....My journey to Chennai had lots of things to do with..thats the reason which I didn’t want to cancel it. I had got the gift for karthik’s wedding....dropped in at frndz to see off our hero for the ceremony...His presence made me feel that I should have gone for the function but some things are helpless in some state.... Having done some amount of kiddie shopping with my roommate for gifting the 2 chotu kids m gonna meet.....I remembered i have a list of calls to make before I board the bus...
A ladies seat is always a concern when I travel at nite by bus.....The need for someone accompanying the journey with me wherever I go ...I felt this little need again....Though bus was at 10:15; it left Bangalore only at 11:45......By the time I was done with all my calls...
A visit to Chennai for the reason I was waiting since some months is finally coming true I guess......:-)
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
A word called TRUST…
Is this TRUST a mere word? A word to fit in a sentence “Yes I trust you”
Or does it actually have any other meaning…more than anyone have thought of!!
People say you can never define love… Some has lots of definitions for it….Some even write essays on what is love..some just stay dumb…
But have u ever thought of defining what is trust?
What is the actual essence of trusting a person…..? Or how do you learn to trust a person?
I have heard a thousand times, ‘It is easier to build trust , but it takes only a moment to break one’
Is it like trusting a person is your own decision? Or is it circumstances lead to feel you the same for another..
Or is it like trust comes up in a relation naturally…
Or is it the other person makes you feel that he or she is worthy of the trusting factor..
Now tell me what is the trusting factor? Have I ever thought of it? What all it takes me to trust a person…
I meet, I talk, I know ,friendship born, bond of love… understand my yes and my no…. etc..etc..countless things…
Or is it just the feeling of love in any relation….the love that binds between the two..responsible for giving birth to trust.
I should at least think of it now…
Well, here this thought came in where I am confused whether a trust is broken? Or when can you actually say a trust is broken?
And does it breaks in just a moment in such a way…that it dies like can never be born again.
When trust breaks is it like things are never the same…..never ever the same….?
Where there is love trust stays….. or is it like diminishing love for each other weakens the trust?
What is the born factor of trust , and what is it that actually kills it between the two…
When I lie to you -I broke your trust?
When I do something that you don’t like - – I broke your trust?
When I act in ways u never thought of – I broke your trust?
When I turn my back to you for another person- I broke your trust?
When I disclose you or your secret- – I broke your trust?
When is it I break your trust…completely…. that a relation seize to exist…!!!
How is it you stop trusting a person whom you have been trusting from your childhood..
Your parents…something like a blind trust for they are the ones you see first in this world.
Your sister, your brother…..for they have grown up with you…in each step of yours….
Your school friend…Your close friend, Your roommate, Your colleague….
Now am I hearing some other voice in my heart, How is it the meaning of trust differing in each relation…
So is it like trust runs in a relation in the name of love? Or trust runs parallel to the feeling of love…
Oh, No I do have a small trust in the Bmtc bus driver? I sometimes do trust him blindly that he will make my journey safe to the landing point.
Then is there a relation with me and him? Nope?? Of course I don’t love him!!! But I do trust him to a level with safe thoughts.
So trust is not bonded to love…yes it may be parallel lines in the relation….
| | Lines in a relation, a relation where name exists or name not exists…or relation itself doesn’t exist…?
Trust, Belief, Loyalty – all linked with each other…
Cut it …Cut it..Cut it .....juz right here....juz now!!!!
Cmon , I am going from one end to another.....without touching what I want to express....
When, What? Where? Who? How? When questions running in my mind….
Juz because I am in the same place again……
Breaking my trust has happened even before…..
The times of shattering feeling coming inside this small heart…
That’s when you feel so bad…so sad….
Yes Its broken like never before…..
Dead to be never reborn again….
With you my dear , how can I ever feel the same….
Praying that I don’t start hating you…
And one day let it come… I hope…
Like me , may be you can never define what is trust..
Like me , may you soon soon realize what is trust…..
Or does it actually have any other meaning…more than anyone have thought of!!
People say you can never define love… Some has lots of definitions for it….Some even write essays on what is love..some just stay dumb…
But have u ever thought of defining what is trust?
What is the actual essence of trusting a person…..? Or how do you learn to trust a person?
I have heard a thousand times, ‘It is easier to build trust , but it takes only a moment to break one’
Is it like trusting a person is your own decision? Or is it circumstances lead to feel you the same for another..
Or is it like trust comes up in a relation naturally…
Or is it the other person makes you feel that he or she is worthy of the trusting factor..
Now tell me what is the trusting factor? Have I ever thought of it? What all it takes me to trust a person…
I meet, I talk, I know ,friendship born, bond of love… understand my yes and my no…. etc..etc..countless things…
Or is it just the feeling of love in any relation….the love that binds between the two..responsible for giving birth to trust.
I should at least think of it now…
Well, here this thought came in where I am confused whether a trust is broken? Or when can you actually say a trust is broken?
And does it breaks in just a moment in such a way…that it dies like can never be born again.
When trust breaks is it like things are never the same…..never ever the same….?
Where there is love trust stays….. or is it like diminishing love for each other weakens the trust?
What is the born factor of trust , and what is it that actually kills it between the two…
When I lie to you -I broke your trust?
When I do something that you don’t like - – I broke your trust?
When I act in ways u never thought of – I broke your trust?
When I turn my back to you for another person- I broke your trust?
When I disclose you or your secret- – I broke your trust?
When is it I break your trust…completely…. that a relation seize to exist…!!!
How is it you stop trusting a person whom you have been trusting from your childhood..
Your parents…something like a blind trust for they are the ones you see first in this world.
Your sister, your brother…..for they have grown up with you…in each step of yours….
Your school friend…Your close friend, Your roommate, Your colleague….
Now am I hearing some other voice in my heart, How is it the meaning of trust differing in each relation…
So is it like trust runs in a relation in the name of love? Or trust runs parallel to the feeling of love…
Oh, No I do have a small trust in the Bmtc bus driver? I sometimes do trust him blindly that he will make my journey safe to the landing point.
Then is there a relation with me and him? Nope?? Of course I don’t love him!!! But I do trust him to a level with safe thoughts.
So trust is not bonded to love…yes it may be parallel lines in the relation….
| | Lines in a relation, a relation where name exists or name not exists…or relation itself doesn’t exist…?
Trust, Belief, Loyalty – all linked with each other…
Cut it …Cut it..Cut it .....juz right here....juz now!!!!
Cmon , I am going from one end to another.....without touching what I want to express....
When, What? Where? Who? How? When questions running in my mind….
Juz because I am in the same place again……
Breaking my trust has happened even before…..
The times of shattering feeling coming inside this small heart…
That’s when you feel so bad…so sad….
Yes Its broken like never before…..
Dead to be never reborn again….
With you my dear , how can I ever feel the same….
Praying that I don’t start hating you…
And one day let it come… I hope…
Like me , may be you can never define what is trust..
Like me , may you soon soon realize what is trust…..
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Oh, Its my Bday
I had a nice start of my bday..:-) since april 14th..
I called up all my close relatives….all over the world, wishing them a great Vishu…
All do remember that my bday is on the next day of Vishu, and tht they wished me advance itself…
That feeling makes me feel somewhere I am important in some hearts:-)
Everyone wished me a great year ahead implying the sense of locking me very soon…
The day is just going fine….too…calls, wishes, cakes, lunch, messages, all going great!!!!!
Is Birthday a day for you to rejoice in all you do?
Wishes come in your way, lots of emails bday ecards…..calls come ur way ..one after another…..
Sms memory gets full in ur cellphone…..and wonder which bday wish to delete off and keep the ones…u need ?
Orkut scrapbook flooded with the bday scraps, and u need to find time to reply to each of them personally…:-)
All this signs can make u happy , a happiness feeling that friends are there to care for you…..
Yes, I am experiencing these signs, and yes all these signs should make me happy…..:-)
Happy Birthday dear!!!!
Am not I happy on this day of mine? Yes I am…….:-) Or May be I am:-) Or Am I :-)
At least a big smile always is needed at Shruthi’s face...:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
All beside her do expect that…at any case...
And I don’t have any plan of running short of other’s expectations, atleast not on my Bday:-)
Though this year...Expectations have fallen short from everyone to an extent on my side…
Last year I remember I had thought how life is changing day by day, and bday is never the same all year….
It’s not that your age increases….. Sometimes the call at midnight for the wish you expect only comes from new persons that has come into your life…
From person that you expect would never remember, had thought of you and called you early morn…
People whom we expect to call and wish sometimes forget ur day……:-(
All this is changing throughout the year….
When some old forget to wish, some new comes into picture….
Mind always stick to the best bday you ever celebrated….:-)
The best bday day you celebrated with ur family…with all around you..
Or your bday day being the wedding day of your best buddy…
Thinking the best b’day gift u got from him..he quitting smoking :-)
The bday where ur colleagues fight to decorate the face with cake creams….
The wonderful bday treat given in celebration…in finest dining hall:-)
Or may be spending the bday day just sitting very close to your love…:-)
Anyways, Birthdays are special to everyone, they become special only with ur special ones around..
Anyways, Birthdays are special to everyone, special ones in life really make it special just for you..
I have people around me more than what I can count in my fingers…to wish me…
So am I luckier that I have so many around to make me feel special..
Time changes all things, and one thing that never changes down is your age….
All says, getting older….. like getting mature, getting wiser…getting…..(I don’t know what else)
I don’t know what all stuffs all have to say……..or write on my day ….
Experience in friendship, love, hate, anger, sincerity, trust, tolerance, distrust, …
Experiences in tears, frustration, smiles, jealousy, selflessness, heartbreaks, disguise…
Experiences in sacrifice, self-control, possessiveness, falling dreams, torturing love, kindness, …
Experiencing much more than I should thes 27 years ; Yes had made me a better person..
I think all should wish on b’day…only one thing.....
To get chances in life where one can just be like a child.:-)
I called up all my close relatives….all over the world, wishing them a great Vishu…
All do remember that my bday is on the next day of Vishu, and tht they wished me advance itself…
That feeling makes me feel somewhere I am important in some hearts:-)
Everyone wished me a great year ahead implying the sense of locking me very soon…
The day is just going fine….too…calls, wishes, cakes, lunch, messages, all going great!!!!!
Is Birthday a day for you to rejoice in all you do?
Wishes come in your way, lots of emails bday ecards…..calls come ur way ..one after another…..
Sms memory gets full in ur cellphone…..and wonder which bday wish to delete off and keep the ones…u need ?
Orkut scrapbook flooded with the bday scraps, and u need to find time to reply to each of them personally…:-)
All this signs can make u happy , a happiness feeling that friends are there to care for you…..
Yes, I am experiencing these signs, and yes all these signs should make me happy…..:-)
Happy Birthday dear!!!!
Am not I happy on this day of mine? Yes I am…….:-) Or May be I am:-) Or Am I :-)
At least a big smile always is needed at Shruthi’s face...:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
All beside her do expect that…at any case...
And I don’t have any plan of running short of other’s expectations, atleast not on my Bday:-)
Though this year...Expectations have fallen short from everyone to an extent on my side…
Last year I remember I had thought how life is changing day by day, and bday is never the same all year….
It’s not that your age increases….. Sometimes the call at midnight for the wish you expect only comes from new persons that has come into your life…
From person that you expect would never remember, had thought of you and called you early morn…
People whom we expect to call and wish sometimes forget ur day……:-(
All this is changing throughout the year….
When some old forget to wish, some new comes into picture….
Mind always stick to the best bday you ever celebrated….:-)
The best bday day you celebrated with ur family…with all around you..
Or your bday day being the wedding day of your best buddy…
Thinking the best b’day gift u got from him..he quitting smoking :-)
The bday where ur colleagues fight to decorate the face with cake creams….
The wonderful bday treat given in celebration…in finest dining hall:-)
Or may be spending the bday day just sitting very close to your love…:-)
Anyways, Birthdays are special to everyone, they become special only with ur special ones around..
Anyways, Birthdays are special to everyone, special ones in life really make it special just for you..
I have people around me more than what I can count in my fingers…to wish me…
So am I luckier that I have so many around to make me feel special..
Time changes all things, and one thing that never changes down is your age….
All says, getting older….. like getting mature, getting wiser…getting…..(I don’t know what else)
I don’t know what all stuffs all have to say……..or write on my day ….
Experience in friendship, love, hate, anger, sincerity, trust, tolerance, distrust, …
Experiences in tears, frustration, smiles, jealousy, selflessness, heartbreaks, disguise…
Experiences in sacrifice, self-control, possessiveness, falling dreams, torturing love, kindness, …
Experiencing much more than I should thes 27 years ; Yes had made me a better person..
I think all should wish on b’day…only one thing.....
To get chances in life where one can just be like a child.:-)
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
DARK ROOM:-( Somebody o'er there..HELLO!!!!!!!!!!
sh.....: "There is always a door open in a dark room…I find it only when my friend lights a candle:-)"
AR: why would u wait for ur friend to light a candle? take a candle with u when going to a dark room
sh.....: See... dushtaa....
sh.....: you should ve said.
sh.....: "sh...dont worry, i am coming soon with a candle"
AR: ha ha ....
AR: i am trying to get out of a dark room ....
sh.....: hm..
sh.....: ok.thn
sh.....: question here is are we in same dark room??
sh.....: i cannot see yo....u...oh
sh.....: are you there
AR: i will get a torch ...
sh.....: in same dark room?
AR: probably ...
sh.....: ok...ok..
sh.....: soon...
AR: sure ...
sh.....: i am desperate to get out of this dark room..
AR: which dark room?
sh.....: the room, which i cannot see anything....
sh.....: tht dark room, which is very black dark...
sh.....: can u hear me?
AR: exactly ... i was just about to say that ... why don’t u call out loud?
sh.....: Oh!!!!!!! No...
sh.....: Find me a candle!!!! Please......
sh.....: or torch whatever u were about to get...!!
AR: call out loud !!! please ...
sh.....: I am screaming now!!!!
sh.....: Not louder can I... I think that’s y the candle is not yet come....
AR: i cannot hear u .. pick up the phone, dial my no and scream
sh.....: i cannot find phone..
sh.....: its lost somewhere in room...
sh.....: i am afraid to walk in this dark.....
AR: ok ok ... i am coming ...
sh.....: i am waiting....
AR: stretch ur hands out while u are waiting ...
sh.....: yeah.. sure...
sh.....: y dont u get a candle?
sh.....: i cannot see u....
AR: came back to the same candle
sh.....: hm.. okei.okei.. rewind...
AR: i have given u a lot of options ... new valid options ...
AR: i believe in new ways of solving the same problem
AR: so ... u want me to stop???
sh.....: nope..
sh.....: i want to get out of the room right?
sh.....: are you going ot give philosophy or going to get me out of this dark place?
sh.....: i think this room is shaking...
sh.....: and weird sounds I can hear...
AR: now that u are still in the dark room, lets us spend some time till i get there
sh.....: I think lots of dark rooms are there...
AR: yup ...
sh.....: is your room really dark?
sh.....: darker than mine?
AR: no ... i dont think so ...
AR: but dont worry ... i am shining the torch from here
sh.....: ok.. i guess it s taking time ot reach me....
sh.....:
sh.....: speed of light also fails
sh.....:
AR: i need the fog light
sh.....: Oh.
sh.....: I am already lost, how can i find you a light?
AR: that is the specialty of light
AR: u should be able to see it in any dark
AR: ayyo ... my torch is shining black light
AR: that is why u are not seeing it
sh.....: oh.mummy . I am lost.... and you tooo....
AR: dont worry ... i am here na ..
sh.....: tie a white cloth around tht torch light, wil it become white??
sh.....: i am just trying to help you....
AR: good idea ...
sh.....: can you hear me..?
AR: yup ... i have started hearing u ...
sh.....: ok...thank God...
sh.....: Hey...
sh.....: See you in the dark room some tother time...
sh.....: bbye4now..
AR: sure
AR: why would u wait for ur friend to light a candle? take a candle with u when going to a dark room
sh.....: See... dushtaa....
sh.....: you should ve said.
sh.....: "sh...dont worry, i am coming soon with a candle"
AR: ha ha ....
AR: i am trying to get out of a dark room ....
sh.....: hm..
sh.....: ok.thn
sh.....: question here is are we in same dark room??
sh.....: i cannot see yo....u...oh
sh.....: are you there
AR: i will get a torch ...
sh.....: in same dark room?
AR: probably ...
sh.....: ok...ok..
sh.....: soon...
AR: sure ...
sh.....: i am desperate to get out of this dark room..
AR: which dark room?
sh.....: the room, which i cannot see anything....
sh.....: tht dark room, which is very black dark...
sh.....: can u hear me?
AR: exactly ... i was just about to say that ... why don’t u call out loud?
sh.....: Oh!!!!!!! No...
sh.....: Find me a candle!!!! Please......
sh.....: or torch whatever u were about to get...!!
AR: call out loud !!! please ...
sh.....: I am screaming now!!!!
sh.....: Not louder can I... I think that’s y the candle is not yet come....
AR: i cannot hear u .. pick up the phone, dial my no and scream
sh.....: i cannot find phone..
sh.....: its lost somewhere in room...
sh.....: i am afraid to walk in this dark.....
AR: ok ok ... i am coming ...
sh.....: i am waiting....
AR: stretch ur hands out while u are waiting ...
sh.....: yeah.. sure...
sh.....: y dont u get a candle?
sh.....: i cannot see u....
AR: came back to the same candle
sh.....: hm.. okei.okei.. rewind...
AR: i have given u a lot of options ... new valid options ...
AR: i believe in new ways of solving the same problem
AR: so ... u want me to stop???
sh.....: nope..
sh.....: i want to get out of the room right?
sh.....: are you going ot give philosophy or going to get me out of this dark place?
sh.....: i think this room is shaking...
sh.....: and weird sounds I can hear...
AR: now that u are still in the dark room, lets us spend some time till i get there
sh.....: I think lots of dark rooms are there...
AR: yup ...
sh.....: is your room really dark?
sh.....: darker than mine?
AR: no ... i dont think so ...
AR: but dont worry ... i am shining the torch from here
sh.....: ok.. i guess it s taking time ot reach me....
sh.....:
sh.....: speed of light also fails
sh.....:
AR: i need the fog light
sh.....: Oh.
sh.....: I am already lost, how can i find you a light?
AR: that is the specialty of light
AR: u should be able to see it in any dark
AR: ayyo ... my torch is shining black light
AR: that is why u are not seeing it
sh.....: oh.mummy . I am lost.... and you tooo....
AR: dont worry ... i am here na ..
sh.....: tie a white cloth around tht torch light, wil it become white??
sh.....: i am just trying to help you....
AR: good idea ...
sh.....: can you hear me..?
AR: yup ... i have started hearing u ...
sh.....: ok...thank God...
sh.....: Hey...
sh.....: See you in the dark room some tother time...
sh.....: bbye4now..
AR: sure
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