Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Ready for Marriage - Interested in My tags, My price?

"Just a scribble of thoughts on the show today - episode 3"

Having watched Saturday CL final match and slept late like 4am - somehow managed to wake up at 11.....

My guess turned out to be right this time...
Since last Sunday I was wondering what topic next? that can capture our hearts...that can hit numbers in large...
Dowry issue - nothing other than that....That turned to be the one too....

I don't know - somehow I felt the seriousness just went a little below this time?
The issue discussion somehow went like - "yes yes yes we all know this, society is having this issue", "may be we can try, but this problem is ....."
And about the cutting down prices in marriages, or having simple ritual at own marriage...I wonder how far it would be agreed upon...
Nobody wants to have the so called 'D' day in their life be a dry day... nor any parents of the bride/groom would want to feel they did less for the marriage..
(at least if u ask me, i wouldn't want a too simple one....its a special day... and i should get a little feel of Big Fat Indian wedding)

I liked two of the comment in the show :
"As a woman - I can even give birth to babies, men - you cant even do that..."
"If want to have a big fat wedding, the bride and groom should do it on their expense, not on family expense"

I still have no clue on what path this problem can take for a solution...
Especially in a country like ours -where the word 'Bidhai' comes - for the parents to their daughter - they ought to spend every penny for their daughter.
Is the root grounded firm with our Indian culture?

Strange - but i feel the stories and facts ....makes me wonder - will this issue ever solve?
1) Daughter have to leave her home after marriage... (so y not give her all I have now to my daughter, be it dowry as gold or cash or flat ?)
2) Only her dead body should come out of her sasuraal house...( so y not give her, so she can have a good life with whatever we give)
3) 'Pati Paremeswar' concept - where every girl , and in some states even the bride's father touches the groom's feet!!!
4) Forgive your husband & his family and listen to them - they are you parents, your family now!! (what happened to my parents? (A mom is always a mom, a mother in law can never be my mom)
5) Sath Janam - related stuffs, every other thing related to religions, cultures - makes this word called 'marriage' a big one
6) Most cases parents do think it will be difficult to get a groom- if my daughter becomes over qualified..
7) Plan my son's career and life based on the dowry amount....and put him on the best education
Its all in the mind set - where we are already spoon fed with some things like above, hard to change...
Also hardly an open discussion with children and parents comes on marriage expenses....

Is it feasible - that instead of resolving 100 cases, take any one strong tortured case - in dowry related - give punishment to related people...!!
A punishment that you never want in a lifetime.... at least one head gets cut off - for the same - then people may realise...!!
Does it feel too much to CHOP a HEAD in this case? Then here lies the problem - coz some of us still don't feel this as a crime....

You wont believe a conversation I had with one of my colleague.. on why he wants to go Onsite(abroad for work).
"I am planning for marriage in this year...If i go onsite , US of course, at least for 6 months, then my dowry amount will increase by 10 Lakhs, and people will be ready to give a car as well..."
I never heard a better reasoning from anyone for deputation to just made me dumb, and left me with no points to argue with him...!!
The fact was then clear to me - its not a problem - no one feels this as a problem.....
Its just like a supply chain market - if you have More Tags attached to you... the More is the price...
So in real aren't the guys carrying a pluck card "Ready for Marriage - Interested in My tags, My price"!!

Pledging not to take dowry, not to give dowry, and moreover not to witness any marriage with dowry system - high hopes and dreams to touch sky!!

But I can do my bit.... I want a man, not a bunch of tags I bought with money!!!
My decision is firm - No giving dowry or taking dowry...!!!

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1 comment:

Sunitha Achuthan said...

Good topic again.. I guess Aamir Khan will never run out of topics!!!

I quite like this one (like the others).. and I stick to the 'No dowry' stuff.